comments are closed on this review, click here for worldwidereview home

Shrove Tuesday

From: M
Category: TV
Date: 08 March 2001


"Shrove Tuesday"

Another day of DIY and the annual pancake making which always puts me in a bad mood. The children refuse to eat the nourishing cabbage soup on the grounds that it smells like drains in Zagreb. Finally settle down to watch tv with a packet of Rennies and a glass of San Pellegrino water. Wonder whether the indigestion is caused by soup or unexpected eating of pancakes.

Emmerdale is as boring as Monday; the dogs are nice though so check out Holiday 2001 to find it's racing in Hong Kong - cheap for the BBC I suppose. Back to Emmerdale: Eric Pollard still playing the stage villain so back to Calabria. It's evening and the locals are dancing round in tatty costumes, still it's a lot less daunting than the passegiata. The presenter said she had hoped for 'a rugged coastline and long lazy meals', I don't know I always hope for a bit of sun and a swim but chacun son gout.

At last Eastenders, which the BBC says everone is talking about. I wonder who. I haven't heard anyone talking about it. Maybe people with even worse social lives than mine, surely not the chattering classes. Dear me, Lisa looks unwell - cabbage soup perhaps? Phil too looks unwell, maybe it's William Haig moonlighting. Has anyone sent their photos in to "Private Eye"'s lookalike column? I keep meaning to though they are both a bit like "Private Eye" ed, Ian Hyslop, star of Have I Got News For You (or Who's a Funny Boy Now?). That close cut doesn't do much for baldy old roundheads. I'm not for a combover but something in between maybe.

The plot creaks on as Steve, cunningly but obviously to all, turns on his mobile phone and exits. Surprise, surprise Phil gets Mel to confess she enjoyed 'it' ( ie sex with Phil on Phil and Lisa's bed). I foresee trouble at wedding.

Five minutes into Gary Rhodes making a fish pie. The best advice I ever got from G Rhodes was to use Maris Piper potatoes. The decoration on his fish pie, a scale effect, instead of the usual criss cross fork effect, is something to try. The smokey lentil soup and pork pies had me flicking to Holby City, how to make a catapult on 4 (repeats) and football. Back to the pork pie, no it's Ant and Dec and the Brit awards on 3. I often find Ant and Dec on tv I usually turn to another channel. But somebody must like them. Perhaps those same people talking about Eastenders. The Brits is worse than the Baftas so back to cooking. Gary is covering his puddings with sabayon sauce - that egg doesn't look properly cooked to me (with salmonella in mind). Onward with Anthony Worrall Thompson. Even filling the cracks in the ceiling begins to look appealing. Is anyone out there watching this evening? Maybe a night job stacking shelves at the Tesco or the graveyard shift at the carehome? What a big kitchen Anthony has. He's doing pease pudding and a bacon joint. I may become a vegetarian: that boiled bacon, aside from having the tubules running through which starts the children retching, looks v fatty. I'm not sure this new lot on Food and Drink are an improvement on the last lot.

It's no use, that bacon has finished me off. I can't watch Nick Berry hunting paedophiles on One or crime research on 4, Ant and Dec still on 3 I think. No more tv tonight.

comments are closed on this review, click here for worldwidereview home